Support groups? I’m not an alcoholic/sick/strange, add your own. This is the stigma that started the work of “quiet meetings” in Zaporizhzhia in July 2022. Initially, these were just meetings on free topics, then on specific topics, then closed women’s groups for seven sessions. And for more than two years now, in many cities of Ukraine, we have been breaking this stigma, proving that support groups are for the internally displaced Sveta, for the saleswoman Katya from the grocery store who complains of insomnia. For Iryna, who is waiting for her fiancé from the front. For each one of us who reads the news every day, cries for the dead whom we have never met, who lives in a country where there is a war. And in general — who just lives. Because absolutely everyone needs support. Even those who are afraid to admit it.
Do you remember what the biggest problem was back then, in the first year of the full-scale invasion? Many people could not sleep at night. This is the conclusion we drew from the questionnaires filled out by the first participants of the “silent meetings.” This is what we started working with — sleep. “What to do with anxiety that interferes with sleep? How to cope with the stress that comes from all sides? Yes, there are a lot of materials and videos on the Internet, but which ones are needed? And how do you practice when the connection doesn’t allow for high-quality video? It’s better to do it later…” people thought and gave up. We helped them not to put it off.
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The “silent meetings” started in Zaporizhzhia and then expanded to Kryvyi Rih, Mykolaiv, Kharkiv, and Lviv. Under the supervision of psychologists-facilitators, women practiced skills together and selected techniques that worked for them.
Nowadays, we often put invisible marks on ourselves, our role in society, on things we do not understand or are afraid of. Most Ukrainians put such a stigma on psychological help. And every day we erase it from the minds of more and more people.
“I really remember a moment from our work routine. It’s winter 2022, and we’re collecting feedback from the participants of the silent meetings.” I’m conducting an interview on a loudspeaker, and my colleagues Dasha and Kristina can hear the conversation. I see their tears. Because no one believes that in a month and a half you can change a person’s life for the better. “I started sleeping again!” says Olha, a woman from Zaporizhzhia, cheerfully. You know, we have already planned a weekend with the girls together.”
At the time, it seemed like a miracle. And now? Now we hear it all the time from the participants of our support groups. And after two years of tireless work, we can say with confidence that what we are doing is working.
Most of the support groups that exist now cannot boast of attendance. Most of the participants attend them irregularly. And even if they attend online. The psychologists who run these groups burn out because they don’t see any noticeable results. Participants stop coming because they don’t understand what is happening and what to expect. We did it differently.
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When our Development Director Yulia Karnas travels to conferences abroad, she often gets asked the same question: “So women go to meetings for six weeks in a row? How do you keep them?”. It’s very simple: we give them what they really need: an interesting program, useful psychological techniques, new acquaintances. We provide support. According to the latest data, 80% of women in our groups attend all meetings. This is something on the verge of fantasy in the world of public organizations.
You know how it typically happens: you buy a gym membership and don’t go. You’re ashamed that you paid for it, then you blame yourself for not going. And… you still don’t go. We don’t have that here. The meetings are free. And women still come to them. And then they create their own micro-communities from the participants. By the way, this is one of our missions — to give people the opportunity to find a new social circle. This is especially important for internally displaced persons.
I want to share a couple of reviews that I read before I started writing this column. These responses inspire us to work, to help, to explain that psychologists are not for mentally ill people. And everyone needs support.
Ira, 35, Zaporizhzhia: “My mood has improved, I have new friends, and the ability to do good has returned. I also have a desire to run to meet the girls and our psychologist as if on a date! I had never dealt with psychologists before and, to be honest, I didn’t think I required it. But it turned out that I did. Thank you!”
Svitlana, 43, Kharkiv: “There is a wish from me and the whole group — to continue the meetings for us! Everyone is happy and positive, even after the shelling!”.
Angela, 29 years old, Lviv: “I want to add a big THANK YOU for having such a team that serves people with KINDNESS and helps to restore the desire to live and enjoy life!”
And if our “silent meetings” are available in your city, fill out the form and come to a meeting. I think you will enjoy it.
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